“New Year, New Me!”
Isn’t that the typical sentiment that always resonates when you’re making a New Year’s resolution?
Isn’t this the phrase you play with in your head while you think about the ways you want to improve your life and do “more” than you did last year? And if you’re like the rest of us, your plan is to get those changes going as soon as you flip that calendar!
Pandemic, or no pandemic, there are so many of us who won’t achieve what we set out to do. I don’t want to be a ‘Dara Downer’ - however, there are so many feats we want to tell others that we will accomplish, but in the back of our mind we’re fumbling with how to start, where to start, and what will give us a push to the Promise Land where we can be proud to show off our ‘new selves.'
In my humble opinion, a New Year’s resolution is just an excuse to open the calendar to a ‘new’ time in your life - coincidentally taking place on January 1st of the ‘New Year’ and using it as a stepping stone and marker to begin your next journey.
What IS your next journey?
Losing weight/eating better?
Saving money/getting out of debt?
Getting a new job?
Being a better person?
Making more time for your family?
Being ‘more creative’ with your free time?
It seems that one out of every handful of people has at least one of these traditional ‘resolutions’ that could improve their lives. Accomplishing these goals will make this, as many state: “MY YEAR!”
Honestly, I’ve never actually said to myself, “This year is going to be MY YEAR.” I have records through Facebook’s memory scope since 2009 - that naively noted practically every year prior as ‘The best year of my life.’ Now, I look back and realize that that was nearly impossible! With so much time ahead to make improvements - and some changes resulting from tragedies - the 'best year' of anyone’s life may still be pending!
Let’s get real - a ‘New You’ doesn’t just happen because you’ve flipped the calendar! So when you’re making a New Year’s resolution, what’s on your plate? When do you plan to start? What has thus far prompted you to make a change in your life?
Consider this:
New Years Resolutions Don’t Have To Take Effect On January 1st
If everyone waited to change themselves on January 1st, nothing would get done.
Let’s say, God forbid, you had a heart attack or a stroke on March 5th of this year and your doctor ordered you to change your diet and your lifestyle habits - otherwise you will risk another heart attack - or possibly death - within months.
Do you think you’ll risk waiting until next year to start listening to your body and take better care of yourself? Making life changes due to an imminent matter in your life will force you to kick into gear no matter what month or day it is. This can be considered a blessing or a curse, but sometimes, life throws wrenches at your plans, your goals and your peace of mind.
And sometimes, these horrific wrenches are blessings in disguise to take better care of yourself. If this unfortunate turn of events is what you’re waiting for, any time of the year can beckon you to start over and reassess yourself, change your habits and steer your life in a different direction. You don’t need New Year’s to establish your goals when nothing is predictable!
Take Note: Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day
Experts agree - you can’t jump from Point A to Point D without B and C getting in the way -- and being part of the process! For many repeat New Year’s offenders, as I call them, they’re focusing on starting a goal as soon and as fast as they can so they can say it's getting done.
Why are so many individuals making the same resolutions year after year and not getting anywhere by the time February rolls around?
Let’s consider the advice many specialists offer: Small steps towards your goals over time, and consistency during the course of the entire year, are sometimes needed so you can reach the bigger goal. Once you see you’re making strides, you will most likely be motivated to continue on a positive path.
If you want to lose weight, for example, small things like going for daily walks and cutting out certain foods indefinitely can be a slow start to your goal. It will take more than a few months - maybe even more than a year - to get to your destination.
The frustration of the time it often takes to ‘achieve’ a goal can be a deterrent, but anything can happen from January to December - and focusing on the fact that your resolution must be maintained for the rest of your life also plays a factor. Are you prepared to build, maintain and nurture yourself as part of your long-term resolution?
The Commercialization That A ‘Resolution’ Is For Everyone
I might be the only person who will say this: New Year’s resolutions aren’t for everyone!
If the only reason you’re conjuring up a way to improve your life is because millions of others are doing this, there’s nothing wrong with NOT making a resolution! You might not want to change anything or make any ‘Drastic January Decisions’ if you don’t have the means to do so.
Just think about how commercialized some New Year’s resolutions are. One example is how gyms are pumping with ‘membership specials’ to get you to join. Companies will come up with all sorts of gimmicks to make you buy stuff you don’t need - offering sales on products you probably wouldn’t otherwise spend money money on.
As of this writing, I don’t really have any New Year’s resolutions that I can share, harp on or hem and haw over. I do have goals, plans and ideas that will carry me to 2023 and the low-key absence of a resolution takes the pressure off joining ‘high-expectation’ conversations.
Do Your Resolutions Match Your Lifestyle/Character?
Time and time again, people make promises to themselves that they will ‘change.’ I’m not quite sure how someone can simply make this ‘change’ happen. Some extreme personality changes require extensive counseling - and other personality changes require maturing.
I’ve overheard people say they’re resolving to ‘be nicer’ or they want to ‘be a better person’ etc. If it’s not part of your character, will you simply snap your fingers and change your personality? If you are keen to improve your relationships and friendships but your actions don’t match your character or who you really are - how will you evolve? Internal change takes time, as we all know, and forced change is even harder to process without professional help or maybe even suffering the loss of a close relationship.
Also, does your lifestyle and how you live every day enable you to stick to your resolutions?
If you’re looking to lose weight, for example, are you surrounded by others who won’t deter you from your goals? Can you adjust your entire household - and everyone around you- to make this resolution a reality? Do those around you hold you accountable and support your goals?
Anyone can resolve to ‘get a healthier amount of sleep’ this year or ‘consume less sugary drinks’. Unfortunately, staying focused -while those you live with are blatantly doing the opposite of what your goals are - can make the journey harder to stick to.
In the end, it’s never ‘easier said than done’ and anyone can change their life if they have the focus, tools and support needed to get on their individual tracks. Too many are consumed with this ‘timer’ effect - that as soon as January approaches we must being anew.
There are lots of ways to help yourself stay committed and realistic. Go easy on yourself and get some perspective - you can always reshape those keys to your year-long resolutions.
Happy Resolving!
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