Remember when you were a kid and you left cookies and milk for Santa Claus by the Christmas tree? Okay, that’s not something I ever did, but I always wondered – what if Santa makes a ruckus and wakes everyone up? What if he trips over your stuff? What if he had a little too much eggnog and now he’s fumbling all over the place? There’s gonna be food everywhere!
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| Keep drinking - but not in one of our bars Santa! |
Believing in Santa Claus
isn’t just about the spirit of Christmas and the warmth of giving – it’s about believing
in someone who represents classiness, respect and generosity. Santa is also the
epitome of a child’s ideal Christmas – after sitting on his big red velvet-draped
lap and perhaps after yanking his snowy white beard, they put in a request that
will hopefully get fulfilled – that’s if they were “nice” and not “naughty.”
Hence, it’s unnatural for
children to see Santa Claus inebriated – right? Well, if it were up to the crazies
who take part in the ever-so-popular SantaCon, kids everywhere will really know what happens to Jolly Old Saint
Nick after he’s been partying all night.
Hey – wait – how is Santa
supposed to take care of all his Christmas matters if he’s getting ripped at a sports
bar in Bushwick?
SantaCon looks like one of
those crazy traditions that gives party animals an excuse to get hammered while
dressing up for the holidays. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like vomit and
violence! While I don’t think those who participate in SantaCon should
necessarily be banned from bars, I do
think bar and restaurant owners have a right to prevent riots and drunken
outbursts by posting signs that SantaCon members aren’t welcomed.
Who’s going to take
responsibility if and when things get out of hand? When bar owners have to call
the police because someone won’t leave after last call…or when someone passes
out and gets violently ill…Should a business owner have to be on guard because
they know a herd of party animals is ready to bring the kind of attention that
college kids attract during a crazy frat house get together?
I contend that it doesn’t
matter what a group of people is
wearing – be it Santa suits, Halloween costumes, or their own unique party
attire…An unruly crowd is an unruly crowd! In Canarsie and surrounding areas,
when you have a crowd that gets out of control and a shooting or stabbing
occurs, sometimes the establishment will close or their liquor license doesn’t
get renewed because of all the violence that takes place and because of all the
complaints received from members of the community.
Maybe bars owners trying
escape the reign of Santa’s celebration should have simply closed their
business altogether so a legal advisor wouldn’t claim the ban as – what
–“celebrationally unconstitutional?” or a “celebration discrimination?”
Not for nuthin,’ but it
sounds like too many bad incidents have happened over the years that led to bar
owners not wanting thousands of swanky Santa-suit-wearing drunkards on their
property. In my opinin, they have every right to turn away drunkards who could
cause damage and run amok.
The same way businesses have
a “no shirt, no shoes, no business” rule, implemented 356 days of the year, why
can’t establishments implemeny a “no drunken Santa” rule?
Perhaps SantaCon celebrants
have considered renting a hall just for themselves where they’re not infringing
on the safety of the general public. There’s no guarantee that a brawl won’t
break out at the catered affair, but at least they’ll only have themselves to
answer to!
Santa’s got a lot of people
on his list who have been naughty this year – but there are better ways of
keeping the North Pole warm and merry than dousing your liver with booze and
getting rowdy and wrecked. Happy Sober Santa celebrating!
(For 12-18-14 edition of Canarsie Courier)
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