Thursday, October 2, 2014

Did Someone Say Something About Your Etiquette...Or Lack Thereof?


Are you one of the hundreds of people who blatantly interrupts someone in the middle of a conversation they're having with someone else? Do you step into someone's space when they're in the midst of a conversation?



Are you guilty of hollering at someone in the distance while you're on a business call? Do you talk over someone, refusing to hear what they have to say because you just need to “get it out” to them before you forget?


Before I became a reporter, I knew that people had bad manners – those individuals are everywhere! In my field, much like retail, dealing with professionals is mandatory. Unlike working in retail, I can't take a break from the floor or choose to work in the inventory room away from the public. I have to make phone calls and correspond with hundreds of people every day, both in and out of the office.

However, if you are going to do business with a business, it's only right that you know your place professionally and learn some etiquette so that your reputation also remains “professional.” There are hundreds of pet peeves and social disasters that go unpunished every day, but here are a couple I wish to abolish immediately.

We received a call last week from a secretary at a local school about an upcoming event. When I picked up the line to speak to the secretary, she was yelling at someone else who she was also talking to. So, when I announced my name and asked, “How can I help you?” she'd already been in the midst of another conversation, so she was yelling in my ear at the other party. I had to yell, repeat my name, and ask “HOW CAN I HELP YOU!” She apologized and said that she was talking to someone else. I didn't mind telling it to her like it is and said, “Do you want to call me back after you've finished your other conversation?”

This incident happens dozens of times with professionals, especially with politicians' secretaries, whose aim is asking us for help in getting their news out. Why don't you make your phone calls when the coast is clear? Why don't you tell the person in front of you that you're in the middle of an important phone call? Do you realize how rude it is when someone picks up the other line and you’re screaming in their ear in response to another conversation you're having?
Think about it...

I've also been to meetings where people sidle up next to me when I'm in the middle of an important discussion. They interrupt me with some question that could have been addressed over the phone (and without the poor phone etiquette as already explained!) Do you realize two people are in the middle of talking and that your conversation may not be received well if you interrupt? What compels you to just walk over to two people who are talking and open your mouth?
Think about it...

Maybe these people never learned etiquette for these typical social situations growing up. They’re doing the same thing as adults in the workplace that they do with their families and friends, but they're not being told the truth: You're RUDE!

It's one thing to carry on tactlessly and be rude with people you know very well in your personal life. I don't mind if some of my closest professional contacts accidentally break etiquette rules because they are very busy or in a rush.

Let's get real – if you want to get respect from your colleagues, you have to give respect! Even in your own office or workplace, you need to have manners. My biggest pet peeve (one that retail workers can relate to as well, not just those working in an office) is when a co-worker stands right next to me or behind me when I'm the middle of a phone call – personal or not. To me, it's the equivalence of a child pulling on their mother’s skirt for attention while she's in the middle of a serious financial transaction at the bank. Could you not wait until the conversation is over to get within five feet of whoever is on the phone? And did your parents not reprimand you for doing this when they were on important phone calls?

Think about it!...

This can also be applied when two people in an office are talking among themselves about something and an unrelated third party sidles up to the conversation, which has nothing to do with them at all. As a child, my mother yelled at me if we were out in public and I interrupted her one-on-one conversation (she even yells at my 11-year-old sister, who insists on chiming in during our mother-daughter conversations). Even if your parents didn't yell at you and prepare you for the real world of professional communication, where did you learn that it's perfectly okay to pipe in for no reason?

Think about it!...

I have to admit, I've learned a lot more about etiquette by being a reporter and corresponding with professionals than I did when I worked in retail. There is still a divide in this community and beyond when it comes to etiquette. What's the RIGHT way to behave? Think about it – if it's something you don't want done to you, don't do it to others. Besides, if your parents haven't taught you social skills, you'll wind up learning etiquette the hard way – by losing your job or having someone like me tell it like it is...

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