Friday, October 3, 2014

They’re Teaching Us A Thing Or Two About REAL Education!

Threesomes, secret meetings, raunchy messages and specially assigned “homework”…

Is this the start of your typical porn movie? 

No! Sadly, it’s the way headlines and news stories begin when dirty teachers are finally exposed!


You’d think after all of the stories that were published over the years of teachers being arrested and caught having affairs with students, that many educators would STOP! You’d think that the only cases left to report would be years old – and that teachers and principals currently employed would smarten up.

Two awful stories made the news in a week – one about the teachers in Louisiana who were arrested for having a threesome with their student, and the other was about the Brooklyn Tech High School teacher who “traded sex for good grades,” among other nasty things. It’s discouraging to acknowledge that authorities in our public schools don’t think about their actions before even making moves. I’ve definitely lost respect for today’s educators. Of course, I’m not going to stereotype all teachers for making academics a dirty realm in which to learn and grow.

Kids are told to respect and listen to teachers…That teachers “sculpt” a child’s future. If by “sculpt” they actually mean entice students into a sexual act because things aren’t going right in their marriage or because they don’t think they’re going to get caught…well, then “sculpt” away!  I can use the word sculpt in a sexually suggestive way, too but let’s get real! I don’t want to keep using sexual innuendos to get a message across…

Oh, that’s right, for some teachers, that’s the only way to get through to their students!

When I went to school in the 1980s and 1990s, most of our teachers were older women and men who we couldn’t tolerate. They were gross! They stood over us in class or in the cafeteria and sprayed us with saliva every now and then during their lectures. But hey – THAT was as much bodily fluids as we exchanged with them! We couldn’t wait to get out of class. We put gum on their seats and said, “We’re not finished taking notes!” when they wrote something on the blackboard, subsequently holding up a lesson on purpose. We praised the earlier generation of students who wrote: “Kick Me” on a sheet of loose leaf paper and stuck it on a teacher’s back.

I’m in no way, shape or form promoting any of these shenanigans – but no kid wanted to come near a teacher in any sexual way and teachers didn’t seem to fancy us either! While today’s sleazy teachers carry on affairs for MONTHS with their students, before somehow getting caught, teachers from my days looked for any reason to have a student suspended and sent out of the building. There was very little conflict-resolution going on and the minute a fight ensued between us kids, the parties involved would get a week off from school – OOPS, I mean, they’d get suspended for a week.

Of course, there were probably plenty of scandals that went unreported when I went to school. But when 75 percent of the teachers are in their 60’s and 70’s and have bad body odor or hygiene, how enticing could an affair be? Maybe today’s teachers are “hot” and young – and maybe the students are getting so desperate for attention and good grades that they’re willing to get some “private lessons,” no matter how much they’re going to have to legally skate on thin ice when everything’s exposed.

Are students looking to get their teachers in trouble? And why can’t educators resist getting themselves into these messes? Perhaps they’re ignorant to becoming another statistic – and maybe they don’t read the news or think an afterschool romp is that big of a deal. Don’t they get it??? Do they want their careers and reputations ruined? What motivates someone – who’s supposed to be a role model for our kids – to enroll themselves in an illegal tryst?

In the end, who knew the popular “School’s Out” song lyrics would take on a whole new meaning… “No more pencils…no more books…no more teachers dirty looks.” Whatever those ‘dirty looks’ refer to, I’ve learned a thing or two about today’s educators. They need to have the book thrown at them in more ways than one!

Unpublished 10/3/14

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