Friday, September 19, 2014

A Dishonorable Way To Teach Our Kids About Differences

Be prepared. That's the motto of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) – the organization that's been serving young men since 1910. Some parents really weren't prepared when the organization officially announced at a meeting last month, as a result of voting, that gay youths could join the group.
Numerous reports now indicate that parents are pulling their children out of the Boy Scouts, which serves ages 11 through 17, due to changed guidelines. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with a gay male joining this prestigious organization – not that I knew too much about them prior to doing some research for this column on exactly what the scouts do on a regular basis. My beef with this issue isn't the fact that the Boy Scouts are now allowing gay youths to be part of their activities. Does it really matter if a 12- year-old boy is “possibly” gay and wants to serve his community? My question, before all of this 'acceptance' stuff comes into play is: How does an 11-year-old even know that he's gay? 

The Scouts are known for their acts of kindness, dedication, heroism and volunteerism. The idea is for the organization to help boys become strong and honorable role models in their community and beyond. Why would changing the guidelines change the mission of the Boy Scouts? Will gay youngsters do things differently than straight ones when it comes to performing their civic duties? Perhaps in their creative workshops, their projects will be more feminine – or “flaming” as many straight people say.


Let's get real. The only reason this stipulation has been considered, it seems, is because the BSA doesn't want to discriminate in the event that one of their members “turns out to be gay.” How would a boy “act gay” at such a young age? What would that mean? Weaving baskets for the homeless with extra bright pink colors while singing a Broadway tune? If a youngster happens to follow the stereotypes of what could portray homosexuality, are they going to be treated any different?

Without being embarrassed, I might just assume that a bigger part of the BSA's concern is the possible “flirtatious” practices a gay Scout might engage in. Or, maybe the organization is simply trying to modernize its fellowship and show young boys that it's okay to accept people who are different and have different sexual preferences. Still, if the Boy Scouts' mission is to instill values that a young man will be proud of, all youngsters will receive the same set of valuable skills whether they're straight or gay, so why change or alter the acceptance rules? Some parents are reportedly so upset that gay boys will be allowed in the Boy Scouts that they've removed their children from the organization. Is this because they don't agree with the idea of gay people having the same rights as those who are straight? Or is it because they feel their children's sexuality will be challenged by the new guidelines set forth by the BSA? While adult Boy Scout membership excludes gays, the religious aspects of being a Scout is one of the more specific reasons parents don't want their children involved. The Scout's web site says: “Scouting encourages each young person to begin a spiritual journey through the practice of his faith's tradition.” But, if one's faith goes against homosexuality, how is that member – and their family - supposed to handle the new regulation?

There are various organizations in our community for youths - including the Explorers and Bergen Beach Youth Organization - which help foster their sense of civic involvement. There's no voting process, at least to my knowledge – to decide if someone who's gay can or can't be part of these local organizations. Sure, they operate on a much smaller scale than the Boy Scouts, but even suggesting that a child's sexuality has anything to do with building their ability is a sensitive topic and that's not a highlight of acceptance. Just because the member of a youth group is gay doesn't deplete their ability to serve the community, so why does it matter?
By the age of 17, many young men have an idea about their sexuality, but how would the organization recognize that one of their members is “out?” What if a young man decided not to inform anyone of his sexuality until later in life? Call me ignorant, but Scouts who are eight, nine and ten years old probably don't plan on sharing their thoughts or feelings about their sexuality. Didn't they join Boy Scouts to gain experience, prestige and respect? Yes, Scouts are expected to learn life lessons – and acceptance of differences. However, why are we bringing someone's lifestyle choice to the attention of boys who are probably too young to form an opinion on the issue?

The sensitive topic of accepting anyone from the gay community looms overhead now. What about the Girl Scouts accepting lesbian members? Women bond on many physical levels - doing each other's hair, helping each other get dressed for special occasions and other comforting forms of “sisterhood.” Is there a concern about the “dangers” of lesbianism among Girl Scouts? Where does it end? No matter what your preference is, there's a never-ending list of questions about what homosexuality has to do with building strong character within one's community and becoming a prestigious leader. Your partner's gender doesn't need to be made public. Outstanding public service is the most important thing we have to recognize. 

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