Friday, September 19, 2014

Looking For Real Men? You Won’t Find Them Anymore!

Where have all the cowboys gone? You guessed it – another annoying pop song motivated me to write a column on something that makes no sense, yet it’s the “in” thing everywhere you look. I’ve seen plenty of blogs about fashion trends that are ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’. If men dressing feminine is a new ‘do,’ then our country is heading in a very sad direction, where real men – burly and brimming with testosterone –no longer exist.
 
You know who I’m talking about – men who wear pants that are tighter than a blood pressure cuff (whether they’re sporting pants to the ground or not – it just looks ridiculous). Women are the ones who are supposed to show off their figure with skinny jeans and fitted tops in bright colors...We’re the ones who are self-conscious about our wardrobe showing off the tightness of our derrière – but don’t men need to wear breathable pants for their...um...boys? I guess not anymore.

If you shop in most local stores, you’ll see that they’re not giving men the option to look like a MAN. They’re selling narrow, short and colorful clothes for skinny hipsters who walk around wearing loafers with no socks. I don’t understand how women could be attracted to a man who dresses just as ladylike as they do! Are you going to start exchanging swimwear too?
Now, more than ever, I see men – or ‘boys’ it seems – rocking styles that include pink sneakers (don’t four-year-old girls fancy this fashion statement?) and shirts. They could be gang-related colors for all we know, or it could be the brand that’s so popular. To me, it’s still effeminate when there are so many other styles and shades of manliness to choose from. But wait – those ‘manly’ styles are slowly disappearing! More and more, the ‘metrosexual’ look – defined as ‘an urban heterosexual male who enhanced his personal appearance by fastidious grooming, beauty treatments, and fashionable clothes’ – is taking over. Among the younger crowd, there are men whose shirts are so tight and short, it looks like they’re trying to accentuate their ‘figure.’ In reality, they’re showing off how they’re disgustingly overweight, thin as a rail or hairy as an ape. The worst part is when a man – wearing these metrosexual clothes – lifts his arms to reach for something, or maybe to hold onto a pole on a bus or train, and the shirt is so short that it rides up, allowing everyone to see a stomach covered with hair or unflattering flesh (on women, a peak at the belly can be sexy – on a man....not so much!) Wear a damned t-shirt that’s long enough to tuck into your pants and hide that unsightly skin!
Honestly, it still doesn’t sit right with me when professional, older men sport feminine colors – even when it’s a pink button-up shirt they’re planning on wearing to the golf range. It might be distinguishing and acceptable if they sport a pink or pastel orange shirt under a blazer – or they’re in “cruisewear” in an unprofessional environment.

Let’s get real! The current color coordination and gender based ‘styles’ go against the values we created for children – that pink is feminine and blue is masculine. Now, we can’t separate boys from girls – especially guys in their upper teens and lower 20s who could easily be mistaken for a female if you don’t look at their face.
In my mind, there’s nothing that says: “I’m ready to put a dress on now” like a man whose shirt and pants resembles that of his wife/sister/mother/girlfriend. What possessed the first man who made these styles “cool” to establish these fashion statements anyway? No one is making fun of these guys, so it’s become more and more socially acceptable.
Also, what happened to men of distinction – like Pierce Brosnan or Denzel Washington, who are contemporary examples of masculinity and testosterone? The rugged, yet clean and sexual male image has disappeared.

Should we bring back powdered wigs from the Colonial days? At least these long white tresses symbolized social status and rank. How about having local shops sell kilts – which are widely worn by Scottish men? Sure, they’re ‘feminine’ – but these skirts were worn by Celtic warriors! Kilts are also worn ceremoniously, like at funerals and parades, and are considered formal wear. Would you catch a 25-year-old in Canarsie wearing one of these socially powerful symbols? No – because real men don’t wear feminine things like that...

How do I expect a man to dress? When I met my boyfriend, he was wearing regular, relaxed jeans and a basic flannel button-up shirt...Nothing too tight, fancy, bright or outlandish – despite the fact that we were at a nightclub where dressing over-the-top is expected.
It doesn’t matter what race or background you’re from. If you’re a man – and you’re proud of it – DRESS LIKE ONE! If you’re not proud to be a man...now’s the time to whip out those skinny jeans, flashy shirts – and don’t forget to strap on that purse! 

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