What I Didn’t Know About Being The Boss Being Bossy

There's nothing I love more than being the boss - and sometimes being my own boss. When I was younger, I was shy and disconnected from my peers (a little FYI - for those of you who thought I was always this forward and talkative). I never used to speak my mind because it wasn't part of my personality. However, when I grew up there was a stigma attached to being one of the “shy” and nerdy girls. Today, a woman who's withdrawn and quiet might be thought of as anti-social. What happens to the women who are meek and withdrawn from society? What type of jobs can they get if they don't take the bull by the horns? Whatever kind of job they get, they certainly won't be part of the population offensively being called “bossy.” Do you want to ban the word “bossy” just because of a campaign that now says it reportedly discourages women from taking leadership roles?

Last week they – Girl Scouts USA and LeanIn.org, the organization spearheaded by Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg - started a campaign to ban the word bossy in an effort to remove the negative stigma behind the word. When I saw this campaign advertisement on the news, I thought this initiative came out of nowhere. Who's acting bossy in the first place and what's so bad about that? Are they women in power? Are they heads of companies? Are they making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year?

Come on! We've got plenty of organizations and agencies that already exist and which are trying to empower women. We've got programs – and we've got Women's History Month that's presently being observed – which encourage women to take charge and not let men boss US around! So who exactly is this campaign aimed at influencing? Young girls can only be “bossy” in so many ways. They're not yet running companies or businesses and whoever they're “bossing” around can just as easily walk away and not associate with them, right?

Being bossy, by definition, means showing arrogance, being demanding and sometimes indicates that you're the type of person who orders people around. I haven't heard anything negative recently resulting from a woman being bossy. There haven't been any tragic events that made the news to pull the word “bossy” from one's vocabulary.

Whenever I've attended civic meetings headed by women, I'm not thinking that they're being bossy by telling the community what to do. Women like Roxanne Persaud, who heads the 69th Precinct Community Council, and Dottie Turano, who's the District Manager of Community Board 18, are leaders who can afford to be “bossy” because they're in leadership positions. Don't we want young girls to be in charge?

Let's get real! This unnecessary campaign is coming out of nowhere and I don't see herds of women – oh, Beyonce doesn’t count – coming out to sponsor this “ban.” When community leaders came out to fight against another B word – bullying – it made perfect sense. Nationwide, the act of bullying has led to injuries, tragedies and suicides.

At banbossy.com, the mission of the campaign states, “When a little boy asserts himself, he's called a 'leader.' Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded 'bossy.' Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys –a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.”

What extensive historical psychological studies are they basing this on? Where have young girls exhibited traits of being bossy that are being misconstrued? If you ask me, sometimes it pays to be bossy!

Yes, I'm practically my own boss as the Associate Editor of the Canarsie Courier. I have to call writers and photographers and be “bossy” because those who work for our publication need to know what's expected of them. On the other hand, being “bossy” is not part of my character or personality outside of the office. Sometimes I don't like telling people what to do professionally. I wish a lot of our writers and photographers instinctively knew what to do when covering an assignment. Unfortunately, that's usually not the case and I have to guide (not “boss” around) our freelancers in the right direction.

When I was young and shy, I never thought I'd be a boss and it's hard for me to be arrogant and demanding (think Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada demanding). However, I've learned that when you're in a managerial position, having the right combination of modesty and bossiness is needed in order to earn the respect of those who work underneath you.

Let’s ban this made up campaign and be proud of who we are! Angry feminists and women's rights groups have already done their part by advocating relentlessly and fighting for the 19th Amendment. Someone tell Sheryl Sandberg that she's no Sojourner Truth and she hasn't endured decades of suffering from the misuse of this adjective! How's THAT for being bossy! 

http://www.canarsiecourier.com/news/2014-03-20/Telling_It_Like_It_Is/Telling_It_Like_It_Is.html